Monthly Archives: February 2012

Yummy Risotto

So I just had a bacon and mushroom risotto (yes yes, I had two helpings, fat fuck that I am! Thanks for pointing that out! And yes, I forgot to buy an onion so I substituted it with a fucktonne of garlic).

It was goooood.

So today was the last day I have ‘solids’ for lunch, tomorrow it’ll be smoothie city for me. But hopefully I’ll get to have meatballs at ikea. Cuz, ya know. They’re nommy.

 

Also, the bf came over to see me and my semi crippled foot, to soothe and sympathize and help with those things I can’t really do… “Oh darling I’ll go to tesco for you…. zzzzz.” He literally fell asleep, and I mean literally, not literally-but-actually-figuratively, LITERALLY fell asleep whilst offering to go and buy food for me. Bless.

So now I’m throbbing (not in a good way, pervs!) and fat-full.

And you know what? I don’t give a rat’s hairy crack, because it was a good fucking risotto.

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Getting pissed in the kitchen…

… and cooking. Seems like the most fun. Even if I don’t drink. I’m thinking of starting again just to do this.


Day 3.

An update.

I’m definitely feeling the lack of coffee/sugar. I’m soooo lethargic. But then I usually drink at least four cups of coffee a day. And I take my coffee strong. And I normally eat a lot of cake. So I’m usually buzzing on caffeine and sugar.

I tried to have a nap but couldn’t sleep. Sigh.

So, I’m having my day’s ration of coffee now. =)

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“As long as we beat the English”

It makes me rage, reading about Welsh people dishing out hate to the English – if you actually took a second to stop being so fuckin’ stupid you’d realise that you have English blood somewhere in your ancestry.

“Oh not me” I hear you fuckers cry. And to you I say this. fuck right off. You’re giving us Welsh a bad name. Go to the library, get on the googles and DO YOUR FUCKING HOMEWORK. Look at your forefathers. They weren’t all Welsh.

Personally, I self identify as Welsh-British. Cuz I am. I was born and bred in Wales, as were my parents, but my mum’s father was from Lahndan and my dad’s father was from Manchester. English. My dad’s dad’s dad was German. My name is Scottish, so we’ve probably got that in the mix. And I’m pretty sure some of my mam’s family were Irish.

I am a mongrel.

So are you.

GET THE FUCK OVER IT.


Fasting.

So I’ve decided to go on a fast.

Well, a smoothie fast.

Everyone has been giving shit up for lent, and even though I am Most Emphatically NOT a christian of any description, I thought I’d see what the fuss was all about. It’s the days of the googles, people.

People shove veg and fruit in a blender and don’t eat solid food. Usually for a week or two, but this one guy apparently lives like this. He cray-cray.

I had to go for blood tests on Monday and had to fast the night before, so I thought ‘why not carry on?’   I figure my insides could do with a clean out. So that’s it. No solid food.

No cake.

No crisps.

No chocolate.

No chips.

And no more coffee. =(

I was advised, however, to ease myself into it, lest my tummy has a fit and packs in. So I’m starting with just having a smoothie for breakfast and eating solids at lunch and dinner, doing this for 3 days (today is day 2) and then for 4 days go for breakfast and lunch smoothies with a solid meal for tea. And I’m easing myself off the coffee. One a day.

So. I thought I’d document it. Here. For you. Whoever you may be. Even if it’s just me.

Sunday night, the night before I started, I lay in bed fantasising about fresh-baked buns and victoria sponge. This isn’t going to end well.

On the plus side, smoothie this morning was delicious.

  • 2 bananas, sliced
  • umm about 6-8 strawberries, scalped and sliced
  • a gloop of fat-free vanilla yogurt (I fuckin LOVE yogurt)
  • a large dash of apple juice
  • a sachet of Oatso-simple golden syrup flavoured porridge
  • a handful of dried raisins

whack it all in a blender and blitz the shit out of it! tasty.

Also, twat that I am, fell off the cross-trainer at the gym last night and sprained my ankle. Serves my right for chatting when I should have been watching where  was putting my stupid fat feet.


Mountains should be seen, not heard.

“I shall be glad to get off this slit and wrinkled ice-arm between two growling monsters.”

LOVE Ursula LeGuin