You are not “straight acting.” I hate to break it to you sweetie. What I think you’re trying to say is that you’re masculine. Which is a form of internalised homophobia and misogyny. Like having feminine qualities is a bad thing. Most of us, no matter how ‘butch’ or ‘femme’ we are, will have stereotypical masculine AND feminine qualities. Whether you want to admit it or not, it’s true. I was raised by a horde of women, with very few strong male presences to mimic, so a lot of my mannerisms and traits are quite typically feminine. Why is it a bad thing? It’s about gay men thinking they have to act like Straight White Male* idiots to be accepted by society and to be desirable to other men, and it’s fucking rubbish. Why would you want to be like those pricks? The ones who bullied you at school, who hit you and chased you in an angry mob like a fucking witch out of school and who spat on you and threw chewing gum in your hair? These idiots who oppress EVERYONE other than what they perceive as “right” and “normal” these bigots who you HATED growing up, who made growing up something to rush through, to run from, to overcome, and now you’ve BECOME them? What the fuck? This is damaging. Same goes for this fucking racism prevalent on many a gay man’s dating profile. “No fats, no femmes, no asians. I mean, I’m not racist or anything…” Yes, yes you fucking are. You narrow-minded bigoted PILLOCK.
And you know what else it is? About “passing” for straight. Why? Why the fuck do you care that anyone knows your gay or not? Why is it so SHAMEFUL for you? Well fuck that. You hide in your closet, but I am not about to allow anyone to try to make me feel ashamed of something I have absolutely no control over. Over love. Fuck you. No one, whatever their sexual orientation, has to or should have to fight to fit in to a heteronormative lifestyle. Remember Hitler people? Are gays now the new Neo-nazis? Fuck. That. Shit.
There is no proscribed way in which you should love, who or how you love or fuck is up to you and the people involved. You don’t have to accept everything you’re told to accept. Fucking think and feel and act for yourself.
*I would like to point out that I actually have male friends who are both heterosexual and caucasian who are lovely and very open minded and are WILLING to be open minded, which I think is an important distinction.